Are you a bully?

Are you that person only knows how to make jokes if it is at someone else's expense? Do you always have to put someone down, somehow trying to make yourself look better, by stepping on other people? Or perhaps you are a fan of 'tough love' - if you don't constantly point out someone's faults, who will tell them? Are you the person who hasn't said a single nice thing this week? I've got news for you. You are a bully. You are that person we all know. And sadly, you are the one we secretly don't like as much as our other friends. You are the one we make excuses to avoid spending time with because you are always so mean, as opposed to because we are just too socially retarded to make a time.

Social media is a fascinating melting pot of how people wish to be seen by the world and most of us alter reality by not posting the fugly photo or by editing our opinions, before we post them, so as not to offend. But the invention of the internet has also given rise to a new level of bullying and having any presence on the net seems to attract it. Anonymity gives courage to the coward and freedom to be as mean as you like and gosh if people aren't judgemental pricks:
'You're a fat bitch.'
'Your boyfriend is going to leave you, b/c you got fat.'
'Lose some weight.'
'You're a skinny bitch.'
'I hate you.'
'You think so much of yourself.'
'You're boring.'
'Lose some weight, you slut.'
'You just want attention.'
'You are so ugly.'
Bla bla bla bla and so on.

So let's take a look at the average garden variety bully... How sad your life must be, that trying to make other people sad is how you feel good about yourself. How much you must dislike yourself and how unhappy you must be, because the funny thing about secure and happy people is they don't need to be mean to feel good about their world. And the funny thing about being mean is that it actually makes you feel bad. Always saying negative things reflects back on your life and your life is more negative for it. And if you think about a bully you know (and even bullies know another bully), you will realise that you actually don't like them so much. Being mean makes them less likeable. They likely have no genuine friends, if it is always tainted by mean comments...or they have friends who are just like them and like themselves and their friends about as much as they like fungus - grows on you, but are you sure you want it to?

I would rather be the fat, ugly chick (that I am labelled now and then) that everyone likes than the catwalk model we all detest. I love my friends and they love me and none of them are ever mean. None of them give two hoots if I gain or lose a kilo or if I'm pretty enough. Sounds so simple and logical doesn't it? Your friends are decent human beings? Shocking!

Don't get me wrong... there are people in the world I am incapable of being nice to. That's why they aren't my friends and I don't speak to them unless I can be polite. See what I did there? silence :) that thing that saves your inner jerk from being an outie.

Real friends don't feel the need to put you down, they support you and make you stronger. So if someone in your life isn't doing that, you know what to do. And if they are an anonymous butt monkey on the internet - well who cares? They're an anonymous butt monkey on the internet, not a friend, so you don't have to care what they think.